


A Present For Hellboy Underneath the Christmas Tree (Or, how Agent John Myers got himself transferred to Antarctica by the beginning of the New Year)

by JoZPierce



Category: Hellboy (movie-verse)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-20
Updated: 2009-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-04 17:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoZPierce/pseuds/JoZPierce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Myers wants to give Hellboy the best Christmas present ever...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Present For Hellboy Underneath the Christmas Tree (Or, how Agent John Myers got himself transferred to Antarctica by the beginning of the New Year)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cimera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cimera/gifts).



> ETA: Thanks to my beta Grevling!
> 
> Any failings are my own alone...

For almost a year, the New York City Metropolitan area was unusually gray. Last Christmas season, even the decorations and lights seemed a little duller than usual. A few scholars attributed the unusual gray in the atmosphere to some yet unknown effects of global warming. But for the agents and staff of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense, the reason was painfully obvious – all that was good in the world mourned the murder of Professor Trevor Broom.

 

It was no surprise that Christmas was cancelled at the BPRD last year; after it’s director and several of its agents were murdered, no one felt much like celebrating.

 

But this year, there was the hint of the upcoming holiday in the air. Manning set up a small slush fund for a modest holiday party. He even wore a bit of fake, plastic holly pinned to his pocket throughout the season. Here and there, there were signs that people were ready to end their collective mourning for Broom and try to enjoy the holidays.

 

Everyone, except for Hellboy.

***

“I hate hauntings,” Liz grumbled, as they descended the snow covered steps of the old Victorian house in Brooklyn. “Usually turns out to be just some creaky floorboards.”

 

“Well, after the past year,” John noticed. “I’m ready to believe anything.”

 

It was innocent enough: Agents Liz Sherman and John Meyers were out on a case call. It was a simple haunting, and one which obviously didn’t go anywhere.

 

It was just like their relationship.

 

John opened the back door of the vehicle, to put away some equipment. The sign on the side of the truck said Con Edison, but that was just for show; the equipment stored inside had nothing to do with the electric company they supposedly represented. Instead, the van was one of the BPRD’s Mobile Stations.   

 

“Too many scary stories,” Liz responded, as she climbed into the passenger side. “I mean, who believes in ghosts and goblins anyway?”

 

John smiled, not so much at her sarcasm, but at the fact that he was finally seeing a bit of the old Liz again.

 

John gave up any hopes of dating her long ago. It had been over a year now since he was assigned to the BPRD, and since they met. But she was clearly with Hellboy now; she even moved into his quarters. John certainly liked her, and wouldn’t object if things went south between Liz and Hellboy. But he would never sabotage their relationship. He wasn’t jealous, and he wasn’t even vindictive. In fact, he was happy for her – for both of them. They had, after all, found some happiness in one another.

 

Still, he sometimes wondered what it would be like to be with her.

 

He shook the thought out of his mind. Perhaps he had been spending too much time with Abe Sapien; whatever you were thinking, and wherever your mind wandered, Abe knew. While it made it very easy to share your feelings with him - once you got passed the awkwardness – thoughts like the ones he was having now could be dangerous.

 

So instead, he turned his thoughts to Hellboy.

 

“I wonder what to get him,” John mused, as he climbed into the van.

 

“What?” Liz asked, startled by the sudden change of subject.

 

John seemed surprised that he spoke out loud. Perhaps he really had been spending too much time with Abe. You never had to explain your trains of thought and mental tangents to Abe.

 

But she wasn’t Abe. He looked at her beautiful face, and his heart ached, just a little, like it always did. No, she was certainly not Abe.

 

“Um, Hellboy…a gift for Hellboy. For Christmas.”

 

“You’re getting him a gift for Christmas?” she asked, a bit surprised.

 

“Well, yeah. I mean last year I didn’t, since…” He didn’t have to finish the sentence.

 

“Well, just don’t expect to get you anything in return.” She wasn’t being sarcastic. She was being completely honest

 

“Oh. No. That’s ok. It’s not about that. But, now that he’s had time, to grieve, I’d like to get him something. For the holiday.”

 

Liz sat silently, as John started the engine. Finally, she broached the subject. “Um, it would probably be better if we didn’t exchange anything…”

 

“Oh, no, I mean, yes. I agree,” John replied, awkwardly.

 

“He’s still a bit jealous, you know.”

 

John was dying to ask her if there was any reason for Hellboy to be jealous of him, but he decided not to bring up the subject at all. He knew that would just make it more difficult. Sometimes he understood her conundrum –  Liz could probably fall for a guy like him. But her connection to Hellboy was so deep, so intense, and so primal. Even bringing up the topic would confuse the matter more. So no matter what he felt, he never said another word.

 

It must have been hard for her, he knew. It could not have been easy to spend the past year with Hellboy. A depressed, grieving, guilt-stricken, angry demon was certainly not much fun to be around. He was clearly still in mourning for his father. But more than simple mourning, Hellboy felt a level of guilt for not being there to save Professor Broom. It was a guilt that no one else would ever understand.

 

Liz and John silently sat in the van for a few moments, as the motor ran. The silence began to get a little awkward, so John mentioned a stocking filled with Baby Ruth bars and cheesy DVDs.  And maybe he would make up another stocking filled with catnip…

 

“John, I think you’d be better off completely skipping it,” Liz suggested.

 

“We’ll see,” John acquiesced, as he pulled the van out, and made their way back to headquarters.

 ***

Abe was in the library back at BPRD headquarters in New Jersey. He stood back and looked at the thousands of books lining the built-in bookcases along the walls. Each was a tiny monument to Trevor Broom’s life work in Paranormal Research. Abe kept telling  himself that, as he spent the year “reorganizing” the library. In reality, the library remained mainly as Professor Broom left it -  frozen in time. No reorganization was necessary. Curating the books, however, became Abe’s own way to mourn.

 

“Hey, Blue,” Hellboy asked, as he burst into the library. “You haven’t seen Liz around lately, have you.”

 

“I believe she is out on a case.”

 

“A case? What kind of case?”

 

“A false alarm, probably. A simple haunting.”

 

Hellboy nodded and turned to go, satisfied with the answer. A moment later, he turned around again. Abe sensed a new wave of panic come over the demon.

 

“She’s not with Myers, is she?”

 

“Um, I’m not sure, Red. Maybe…”

 

“What is she doing, out on a case with Myers…?”

 

“Red. She’s an agent. He’s an agent. They are just doing their jobs…”

 

“Oh yeah? When’d they leave…”

 

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe three hours ago?”

 

“Three hours? Have they called for back up…?” Hellboy grumbled, then turned on his heels for the door.

 

“Red, you should lighten up.” Abe said, calling after his troubled friend. But Hellboy just blew him off.

***

“Abe, I need your help,” John said calmly to Abe, through the plate of glass that contained him in his tank of water. “I’ve only got about a week to get him something.”

 

“You could just get him what you’re getting me…” Abe joked. He knew he was getting rotten eggs, and a book. Neither would appeal very much to Hellboy.

 

“I just don’t know what he could want... Well, aside from the obvious.”

 

Certainly, bringing the Professor back to life was out of the question; even with all the paranormal resources of The Bureau, Broom’s Catholic beliefs –for a start- would have strictly forbidden a real resurrection. It wouldn’t have felt right, anyway.

 

“He wants out.” Abe finally said, revealing something that he had obviously read in Hellboy’s thoughts.

 

“He wants out?” John seemed confused. “Of the Bureau?”

 

“Well, sometimes…” Abe said, realizing he misspoke. “But, more like out of the building. For a while.”

 

“Like a night out? On the town?

 

“Yes.”

 

“But, he hardly even leaves his room anymore. I mean, he’s been so depressed!”

 

“Exactly!” Abe responded. “He feels trapped. Helpless. Like he can’t do anything. You remember how he used to always find a way to get out. Much to Mannings disapproval. And then all the times father grounded him.”

 

John laughed at the thought. The idea that a gentle old man like Trevor Broom could discipline Hellboy was truly comical. If he hadn’t seen it for himself, he wouldn’t have believed it at all.

 

“But, Liz is here now…so there’s really no reason for him to want to be out.” John asked.

 

“John, you know that Red didn’t want to go out just to visit Liz. He just wanted to be out! Out there, seeing the world! Like normal people do! You know he would get his own apartment right in the middle of the Village, if he could!”

 

John chuckled, and nodded his head in agreement.

 

“You’re right, Abe. Maybe getting out again will help.”

 

“Getting out again could bring some closure to the year… to his mourning,” Abe added.

 

“Ok then. It’s settled,” John said, tapping on the glass. “That’s what we need to get for Hellboy this Christmas…”

 

Suspended in water, Abe blinked three times. A few air bubbles floated from his gaping mouth to the top of the tank. Finally, he replied, more than a bit surprised.

 

“Excuse me, but did I hear you correctly? Did you just say ‘We’?”

 

John smiled. For the first time since The Incident, Agent Myers finally had a mission he could really believe in.

 

“Yes, Abe. This Christmas, you and I are going to spring Hellboy, for the night out on the town.”

 

 ***

Liz Sherman stormed into the bedroom, She was - quite literally - flaming mad.

 

“You went to Manning!” she yelled at Hellboy, as he pumped iron and chomped on his cheap cigar.

 

Hellboy barely looked up. The flames that engulfed her were a clear sign that she was furious at him, but he acted as if there was nothing unusual going on. In fact, considering their tumultuous affair, it was a pretty normal scene.

 

“Yeah. I spoke to Manning. So what?” He puffed on his cigar, and avoided her stone cold glare.

 

“You told him not to send me out on assignments with Myers!”

 

With that, Hellboy looked up, then dropped his dumbbell on the ground.

 

“You got a problem with that?” he grumbled, taking the cigar out of his mouth, and approaching her as if ready for a fight.

 

Through clenched teeth, she closed her eyes and tried to contain the fury. It was still difficult for her to control her pyrotechnic powers, but she managed to get the flames under control.

 

“Look, Red, there’s nothing between the two of us,” Liz explained, taking a deep breath. “Myers is just a friend.”

 

“A special friend?”

 

“A fellow agent.” Liz’s frustration was becoming clear. “Red, there’s nothing between us. I’m with you now. You know that.”

 

Liz held out a hand, to reach out and touch him. He pulled away.

 

They say New Jersey autumns are wet and cold, and the winters are just bitter. Between the rain and the Nor’easters, the damp and the cold can quickly turn to ice.

 

It was just like their relationship.

 

In the past few days, the typical tension between Liz and Hellboy had grown. It was more than the typical bickering that simmered in their relationship. Hellboy grew ever more suspicious of John: every glance, and every word he exchanged with Liz – whether in the hall or at a staff meeting – became fodder for an argument.

 

“Red, there really is nothing to be jealous of,” Liz assured him.

 

Hellboy just grunted, picked up his dumbbell, and went back to his workout.

 ***

Disguised in his Con Edison uniform again, John Myers fiddled with the electrical breakers in the control room. It was the tenth building, and the tenth control room, he visited that day alone.

 

“You know, you look just like that F.B.I. agent who was here a few days ago,” a security guard noted. He was a little suspicious, but John’s credentials were ok. He had shown him a valid Con Ed I.D. and everything.

 

“Really?” John responded, innocently. “I guess I just have that kind of face.” 

 

“So, this meter you’re replacing will stop all the brownouts and outages we’ve been having?”

 

“It should!” John replied, as he continued his work. He obviously wasn’t going to explain that he was the reason for the power surges and dimming lights over the past few days. Just as he wouldn’t explain how all the calls from the complex to Con Ed’s main office were somehow being diverted to him.

 

The security guard had explained how there were nothing but unexplained blackouts and power outages in the complex, ever since Con Ed installed a new system a few days ago. The security cameras would go out. The lights in the buildings dimmed, or they went out altogether. It got to the point where someone suspected a terrorist attack. That was why the FBI was finally called in.

 

Those calls, too, were diverted to John.

 

“You sure you don’t have a twin brother? In the F.B.I.?” the security guard tried to get closer, to get a better look.

 

“Well, now that you mention it, I do have a cousin in the Bureau,” John connived. “But he’s stationed in California… maybe he’s been transferred.”

 

John busied himself in the breaker box, but was relieved when his cell phone rang.

 

“Excuse me, I have to take this.” He turned his back to the guard as he answered the call.

 

“Abe! Yes. Almost done with this call.” He looked over his shoulder at the suspicious guard and mouthed the word “supervisor” while holding up the phone.

 

“John,” Abe asked in a nervous voice. “Is Liz there with you?”

 

“Uh, no. Why? Is something wrong?” John lowered his voice, trying not to make it obvious that this was a personal call.

 

“Well, Red is here… they had another fight…” Abe could barely finish his sentence, as Hellboy pulled the phone from Abe’s hand.

 

“Myers, put Liz on,” Hellboy demanded.

 

“She’s not here.”  He looked up at the security guard, and shrugged innocently.

 

“She’s not there?”

 

“Maybe she’s on another call.”

 

“Another call?” Hellboy seemed confused, not knowing what John was doing, nor the façade he had to keep up.

 

“Just ask Abe. He’d know.”

 

“Listen, Boyscout, be very careful…”

 

“Yes. I understand.”  It wasn’t exactly the right answer, but it satisfied the guard, if not his fellow agent.

 

“You understand?” Hellboy responded. “Do you, pal?”

 

“I... I have to go now. I’m done here.”

 

“You ain’t kidding…” Hellboy threatened back at him.

 

“I’ve got another call to make…” The two agents were talking past each other. “In Brooklyn.”

 

“Not far enough…”

 

“How about Antarctica?” Myers suggested, jokingly.

 

“Antarctica? Huh.” Hellboy huffed. “Well, let me draw you a map, boyscout…”

 

John closed his cell phone, and then the breaker box. It probably wasn’t the smartest move, hanging up on Hellboy, but he was sure Abe could do some damage control. At least he’d be able to predict that first punch and duck.

 

John turned around to thank the guard.

 

“You’re weird, pal…”

 

“You think I’m weird? You should meet my co-workers.” John held up the phone for emphasis.

 ***

Abe and John sat across from each other at Broom’s old desk in the library.  It was Christmas Eve, and tonight was the night. Although they were sure that everyone would be at the BPRD Christmas party, they whispered their plans, as they passed sheets of paper back and forth.

 

“So, the site is secure?” Abe asked, as John nodded in the affirmative.

 

“I’ve been there several times to make sure. So often, in fact, the security guards are starting to recognize me…”

 

“Hmmm,” Abe simply responded.

 

“Is everyone ready?” John asked Abe.

 

“Everyone’s on board. And Manning…?”

 

“I’ve got something special for Manning,” Myers confessed.

 

“If Manning finds out, we’re through,” Abe said, nervously.

 

“Don’t worry. He’ll be fine,” John reassured his friend. “And so will you.” It was John’s way of saying that, if and when the shit hit the fan, he’d be willing to take the fall. That was, after all, part of the gift.

 

 Skeptical, Abe took out a large blueprint and unrolled it on the table. As they began to go over the game plan, they heard the scuffle in the hallway.

 ***

Tom Manning was a fairly large man. But he looked like a little boy standing face to face with Hellboy. It was always impressive that he stood his ground, considering the demon’s obvious size advantage.

 

“You told her? You told her!” Hellboy grumbled, poking at Manning’s holly on his chest. The cup of eggnog Manning held in his hand spilled out onto his suit.

 

“Let’s get one thing straight!” Manning said, wiping the liquid off. “You don’t tell me who to assign to what cases!” Manning poked back.

 

“No?” Smoke spewed out from behind Red’s cigar, through gritted teeth.

 

“NO!” Manning barked back.

 

“Red!” Liz’s voice boomed from down the hall. It was enough to stop him from swinging at Manning.

 

“Liz! Where have you been?” Hellboy called out, obviously happy to see her.

 

“Listen, you, I’m not done!” Manning couldn’t leave well enough alone, and ignored the fact that he was way outsized by his subordinate.

 

“If you had kept your big yap shut…” Hellboy turned back to Manning, remembering the original argument.

 

“Red, have you been drinking?” Liz asked, as she approached the scene.

 

“What if I have?”

 

“Oh, Red…” Liz sighed.

 

John and Abe poked their heads out into the hallway.

 

“Abe, this is it. They’re all here…” John and Abe quickly made their way into the hall.

 

 

“You’re taking care of Manning?” Abe whispered, as they approached.

 

“I’ve got Manning, you call for backup.”

 

The plan was set into motion. And what a plan it was.

 

John Myers – once described as “pure of heart” – would never lie. Or would he? Yet, a so-called phone call from Washington, D.C. would be the perfect distraction for Manning.

 

“What President?” Manning asked, as he continued to stare down Hellboy.

 

“THE President,” John replied.

 

“What the hell does the President want with a twirp like him?” Hellboy asked, still eye to eye with Manning.

 

“Something about budget cuts,” John explained. “And needing to see some spreadsheets.”

 

It worked like a charm. Manning’s spell was finally broken, as he began to spiral into a minor panic.

 

“The President?”

 

John nodded.

 

“Budget cuts? Really?” he continued to ask, as he quickly walked away. He completely forgot about Hellboy, as John led him down the hall.

 

As they reached the end of the hallway, John looked back over his shoulder and gave the go-ahead nod to Abe. And with a simple click of his communication belt, a silent alarm was sent out.

 

“What the hell was that about?” Hellboy asked Abe, in a bit of shock. “What the hell is THIS about?” pointing to a swarm of agents – torn from a holiday party - who were suddenly on the move. There were no loud claxons filling the hallways. There were no flashing red lights to light their way. Yet, by all accounts, it looked like the BPRD was on the highest Red Alert.

 

“Red, Liz, come on,” Abe simply said. “We don’t have much time.”

 

“What?” Hellboy looked at Red, growing more and more confused.

 

“Come on, Red,” Abe repeated. “You, too, Liz. Get your coats. Something big is happening tonight!”

***

From the back of the BPRD garbage truck, Abe turned on a few computers and television screens. Then he sat at a computer and began to enter a few commands.

 

“Listen, Blue, do you mind telling us what the hell is going on? What the hell are you doing…?”

 

“In a moment…there. It’s done.”  The computer confirmed that somewhere – out there – a system had been shut down. Abe turned away from the computer screen, and addressed his friends to explain.  

 

“Now?” Hellboy asked, sarcastically.

 

“Well, in simple terms, you’re both being kidnapped.”

 

“Kidnapped?” both Liz and Hellboy asked, in unison.

 

“Uh huh! Merry Christmas!” Abe awkwardly threw his arms in the air.

 

As the truck pulled out, Hellboy was at a total loss for words. Had it been anyone but Abe “kidnapping” them, he might have been angry. But he knew how cautious Abe was; there had to be a good reason.

 

“Um, where are we going, Abe?” Liz asked, still in a bit of shock.

 

“Oh, it’s a surprise! But don’t worry. It won’t take long.”

 

He was right. It wasn’t long before the truck was through the Holland Tunnel, and heading north to Midtown Manhattan.

 

“Look, Red,” Liz pointed out the window as they rode. “The Christmas lights.”

 

Over the years, Hellboy had seen plenty of Christmas lights. He’d been out on plenty of cases during the Christmas season. And growing up on the Army base, there were always Christmas lights, too. Broom even had a Christmas tree for them in the army-issued trailer they called home. But this was different. Looking out the window of the BPRD Mobile Station, at the Christmas lights that flooded the store windows and streets of New York City, he was a bit overwhelmed. For the first time in a very long time, Red felt like a little boy again, enjoying the Christmas lights.

 

He imagined driving around town in a family station wagon – just like other kids did - looking at Christmas displays. And if no one could bring his father back to life, at least for the moment, they made it feel like he was right there in the room, reading a Christmas story to him.

***

The block surrounding Rockefeller Center was unusually dark. Of the nineteen buildings that made up the complex, none were lit. Only a large Christmas Tree – in the plaza - was illuminated.

 

The giant, 90 foot tall Norway Spruce, was the most iconic icon of the holiday season for New Yorkers – and perhaps for the entire nation. Tens of thousands of tiny lights lit the plaza, and illuminated the golden statue and fountain of Prometheus. Even though all the buildings in the plaza had gone dark, there was plenty of light to shine on the ice skating rink.

 

The truck turned and drove up W 49th Street. Barricades, manned by police and men in black suits, were set up around the entire complex.

 

“Hey, isn’t that Smitty?” Hellboy commented, pointing out one of the BPRD’s own agents just as the truck made its way past one of the barricades.

 

“Um, yes. Seems there’s a major power outage going on.” Abe turned up the evening news on the tv. It was almost midnight, but a major power failure at Rockefeller Plaza was still something newsworthy.

 

Usually, the area would be swarming with crowds of tourists and merrymakers on Christmas Eve. But the whole perimeter had been cleared out by the NYPD and a small army of FBI agents.

 

The three agents got out of the truck, and Abe led them down towards the ice skating rink that was set up in front of Prometheus. A few skaters entered the rink; upon closer inspection, they were all BPRD agents. They were all part of the plan, designed to help create the atmosphere of holiday cheer – and perhaps an odd sense of normalcy - for Hellboy. 

 

As they approached the rink, three pairs of ice skates were waiting for them. The first was a pair in women’s size 8. The second and third were obviously special order – one made for webbed toes, and the other made in men’s size “Hellboy.”

 

As the three put on their skates, Abe sent Myer’s regards.

 

“Myers is sorry he couldn’t be here - to help you celebrate.”

 

“Hey hey! That’s the best gift of all…”

 

“Oh, Red,” Liz admonished Hellboy, but in a loving way. It was, after all, Hellboy’s night out on the town.

 

“We only have about a half an hour, Red,” Abe warned, as they cautiously hit the ice.

 

“Hey, buddy, you did all this for me?”

 

“Well, I helped. A little. But this was mostly Myers.”

 

“Myers did this? Boyscout? Damn!”

 

Abe simply nodded, then skated off to join some other agents, leaving Hellboy and Liz alone.

 

Hellboy was sure that there would be some fallout for this little caper, but that was John’s problem, wasn’t it? Maybe he’d suggest that Myers needed a transfer out of the BPRD - just to make sure nothing like this ever happened again. Manning would probably agree, after spending his Christmas Eve preparing spreadsheets for an audit that never would happen.

 

With a twinkle in his eye, Hellboy smiled at the thought.

 

Yet, despite the jealousy and the misplaced insecurity that Hellboy had when it came to Myers, he was grateful for all that he had done for him. He appreciated the attempts to be his friend. He appreciated his kindness, and his attempts to help him mourn for his father. He liked the boyish hero worship that Myers sometimes showed towards him.

 

Now, the crush that Myers had on his girlfriend? Not so much… But Hellboy was coming to realize how his imagined rival really wasn’t trying to get in the way. Even this Christmas present was clearly designed to bring Liz and Hellboy closer together, in a special night out on the town.

 

And sure enough, Hellboy had every intention of enjoying his Christmas present.

 

“Babe, did you know anything about this?” Hellboy asked, as he stood frozen on ice. Liz simply shook her head, and smiled at him.

 

Liz also recognized that this was as much a gift for her as it was for Red. She was glad that Myers didn’t take her advice to skip the gift giving this year. And she was just as grateful as Hellboy was for the chance to spend their holiday together, out and about, like normal people do.

 

“Merry Christmas, Red,” Liz said, taking Hellboy’s left hand in hers.

 

Hellboy leaned down and whispered “Merry Christmas, babe,” - right before he gently kissed her, under the lights of the giant Christmas tree.

 

 

 

 


End file.
